This article was first published in the first edition of the Become. Journal.

When my oldest was just a toddler, I was flipping through the television channels.  There wasn’t the option of streaming services, just a few local stations that came through the antenna.  I paused when I saw a local church come on the screen.  The regular pastor was not there that day, but someone else was filling in. He talked about how man was made of the dust of the earth, as he ran his hands through a bowl of dirt for visual effect. “Yes,” I nodded in agreement.  

He continued by talking about how Jesus is the living water, as he poured a pitcher of water into the dirt.  Now it doesn’t take a scientist to know what’s going to happen with that.  As the pastor continued talking, he mixed the dirt and water into a nice bowl of mud with his bare hands. He shared about how when we share the “living water” of Jesus with people made from dust, it can get a little messy. “Mmhm…” I continued to nod, loving the visual aid.  

Then, as he spoke, he took his hands out of the bowl.  “If we are going to share the living water with humans made from dust….”  He wiped his mud covered hands on his Sunday best shirt. “We will get messy.”  My breath caught at the surprise.  With his sleeves rolled up, the example had been nice and clean, easy to follow.  The mud stained shirt caught me off guard. 

Since seeing this sermon on television I’ve been able to see the same sermon and illustration in front of hundreds of people.  Let me tell you, their reaction was the same as mine that first time.  After that first time seeing this, I realized more than ever that connecting with people the way that Jesus did, is not easy, and it’s certainly not clean.  My husband and I had some serious talks after that sermon.  Were we getting messy?  If we weren’t getting messy, then were we speaking truth into people’s lives, or just letting their dust be? 

 Since then, we’ve tried to never just leave people in their own lives, but to share love and truth with them, even if it means getting messy.  For each person that will mean different things, but here are some ways we’ve gotten messy while connecting with people.  Maybe it will give you some ideas on how to connect in new ways, or encourage you to “get messy” too. 

Yes, I’m Facebook friends with my neighbors.  But do I know what’s going on in their lives?  Do I know their physical and spiritual needs?  Most of the time, I’m not going to find that out on social media.  Usually, it means going outside, and going into their yard to say hello when they’re out and about.  Very few adults will come into my yard to chat.  We’ve become a society that minds our own business and gets on with life. If I want to connect with my neighbors, I’m probably going to have to go into their yard. Come to find out, we’ve had a neighbor that had no water, electricity, or food, even though from the outside of the house, everything looked normal. In the midwest summers, lack of electricity is not a fun situation.  So, during the day the neighbor would come and stay at our house.  I always made sure there was extra food when I prepped for the family.  He was able to keep cool in the heat advisories, and have a place to shower. Can I be honest?  My sinful nature does not love this.  My house is my safe place.  I like to feel at peace there.  I like to be alone. It wasn’t easy to explain to my young children why this man was sitting on our couch all of the time.  And while our neighbor was one of the kindest people you’d meet, I still felt uncomfortable having a somewhat unknown man in my house with my kids.  The situation was messy and uncomfortable. Still, we’d sit and eat together.  We’d talk about God and how He is faithful when people aren’t and life is hard.  We shared about how God loved us so much that He died for us.  We kept pouring that living water into our neighbor’s life.  

It would be super nice if I said our neighbor became a Christian and was living on his own now. Honestly, we don’t know where he is or what he is doing.  Fixing his physical and spiritual needs was not our job.  Our job was to be obedient in loving like Jesus and joining our neighbor in his mess.  We can plant and water, but God makes the growth. (1 Corinthians 3:7)    

 I mentioned earlier that it’s not often that adults will come into our yard, but you know who will? Kids. We have been very blessed to have a nice size backyard.  Years ago, someone gave us a trampoline that has seen many adventures, and each year we work hard to be able to have a pool set up. Ever since my kids were little, neighbor kids have been coming to the yard. The ages of kids and which neighbors they are have changed, but it is not uncommon for me to look out the window sometimes and see twice as many kids there as I had expected to see.  You want to see messy?  Work with kids and all of their sinful natures as well as their lack of social awareness to keep family secrets….well, secret.  I am a parent that likes to know where my kids are.  It’s not often that I let them go into other people’s yards, and for sure not their houses.  However, not all parents are like me and that’s ok. We’ve had kids ages three to sixteen in our yard, running around, playing games, and coming into the house.  (Remember how I like my privacy?)  

Besides the obvious mess of children, it’s soon easy to see the mess of connecting with them and loving like Jesus.  Being the yard where the kids go usually means….

1. Things get broken.  Let’s be real, most of the kids who are coming into my yard are not the politest well-mannered children.  I’ve had pieces of trash superglued to my house.  Many toys have been broken (even if it’s my kids’ favorite)  We’ve also had things stolen.  Things are things, yes, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard.  I have to constantly remember to care more about the eternal than the temporary.
2. My yard is not a G rated area.  There are dirty jokes, cuss words, and more. We do not condone these things, and we also let kids know that we don’t allow those things here. It still happens.  The things that I won’t let my kids watch on tv can often be found in our backyard. We use this as a way to encourage them in how to be in the world, but not of it.  To control what you can in what you let into your mind, and how to deal with the things that you can’t control.
3. Dealing with children means dealing with parents. It’s a sad place we live in that when someone is not watching their kid, and they get hurt in my yard, I’m supposedly legally responsible.  This is often on my mind.  However, I can’t let the “what if’s” stop my obedience to love.  

This is part of the mess, but it doesn’t take away how God has called us to live our lives.  So, however God has called you to connect with those around you, know…it will be messy.  Don’t let that stop you from being obedient to what He has.      

Being THE Yard, we have learned a few things in helping keep people safe and cared for. 

Pray, pray, pray.  Pray for the ones coming to your yard…not just for safety, but for their spiritual needs.  Pray for strength in loving them like Jesus. Y’all, sometimes it’s all I can do to love on my own kids, throw in several more and I’m empty.  I can only love with the love that God gives me (which is more than enough).  Pray for your kids.  Pray that they are more influential than influenced by the kids in the yard.  Pray that God works in their lives to grow them closer to Him in these opportunities to love and connect. 

Have rules.  Kids need structure.  They need age-appropriate supervision.  We don’t allow “unwholesome” talk.  That may mean language, jokes, name-calling, etc…There are rules about safety things like with the swimming pool, trampoline, etc… There are also rules about who can come into the house, when, why, etc…An adult is never alone in the house with another kid.  When rules are not followed there may be timeouts, or not being allowed to come to the yard for a certain amount of time.  We often speak seriously, when rules are broken, but try to do so in love not in anger.

Care.  Know kids’ names.  Know what house they belong to.  If possible, work with connecting to their parents or grandparents.  This is the hardest part for me personally as the kids that come and go is always changing, meaning meeting new people. Provide needs/wants.  When we’ve been able to, we try to have plenty of snacks and drinks available to the kids in the yard.  Meeting their physical needs goes a long way in being able to help meet their spiritual needs as well. 

Talk about God.  You don’t have to have a backyard Bible club happening, but when you do something different than they do, like not allowing cursing, let them know why.  Can’t play on a Wednesday night or Sunday morning?  Let them know that you’re going to church, and they are welcome to come as well.  Not many kids go to church these days and may ask why you go to church.  My children have been able to have many conversations about what they believe with kids in the yard.