This article was first published June 30, 2022 in Cultivating Faith.

“Yes, he has Autism.”

And with those words, our world was turned upside-down. Our lives leading up to this hadn’t been smooth sailing. The pregnancy difficulties that left doctors scratching their heads, continued when our little boy was born. No one could figure out why his body would start having an allergic reaction whenever he cried. And as most people know…babies cry a lot.

So after four years, we had an answer and so many more questions. The years that followed were full of doctor appointments, therapies, and more interventions, trying to help Ezra live in a world that wasn’t conducive to the way his brain worked. While we worked with him physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally, what we found to perhaps be the most difficult was to help him grow spiritually. 

Sunday School was not an option. The chaos of other preschoolers was too overwhelming for his senses. He couldn’t sit still for even short periods of time, and would often run away from the chaos and hide in random spots. (This is called eloping and is incredibly common when it comes to Autism.) That was the least of the issues, as other times would result in a meltdown. Meltdowns are not the same as a tantrum thrown by other children. When our body is triggered by certain stimuli, we go into flight or fight mode. The eloping was the flight. Meltdowns are the fight, and boy is it a fight. They often resulted in hitting, kicking, biting, and spitting, not the things that most children’s Sunday school teachers are equipped for. 

The worship service was spent with me on the floor as he crawled over and around me, while I prayed he wouldn’t have a meltdown from the noise of the music, or make otherworldly noises in delight at something only he knew about as everyone else sat in silent prayer. The Autism brain works differently for each person. How much could Ezra understand about sin, and our need for a Savior? With the big questions came simple answers. We decided to, in the words of Maria Von Trapp “Start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.”  Any kid can start with the basics. God loves us, and God made everything. In the child-like faith of other kids, Ezra learned these basic truths. 

However, as he aged into school, and it was time to get him his own Bible, we were faced with a new problem. Learning to read was incredibly difficult. In fact, learning his ABCs was a challenge. We spent hours learning through touch with alphabet flashcards that had sandpaper in the shape of each letter. It was often that we could see the defeated look on Ezra’s face. He didn’t like to read, or to sit still and try to read. So, to share stories with him, we’d read aloud. The Jesus Story Book Bible was our favorite. As parents, it was important to us that all of our children, which included one older and one younger than Ezra, understood that the Bible was not just a book full of stories, but it told ONE BIG story. With the tagline “Every story whispers His name,” the book by Sally Lloyd-Jones does just that. Since it was so hard for Ezra to sit still, we’d let him run while we read aloud, or play with pipe cleaners that could be folded in all kinds of fun shapes. We learned, much to our surprise, that even in what appeared to be the chaos of his antics, he was soaking the stories up like a sponge! Lloyd-Jones shared in her article “Teach Children the Bible Is Not About Them,”

When we say, “Now what that story is all about is…,” or “The point of that story is…” we are in fact totally missing the point. The power of the story isn’t in summing it up, drilling it down, or reducing it into an abstract idea.

Because the power of the story isn’t in the lesson.

The power of the story is the story.

“Reducing it to an abstract idea…”  It’s what happens so often in the average children’s Bible story. Besides the stated reason above, Autism and abstract ideas often do not mix.  Many children with Autism, including Ezra, have a difficult time understanding anything other than something concrete. Their ideas and ideals are very black and white. So we love that The Jesus Storybook Bible sets up the foundations of learning about our broken world, and how Jesus had a plan the whole time to save us.

We found, that as Ezra’s curiosity about Biblical things grew, he had a desire to look at pictures and “read” for himself. Even the easiest of Children’s Bibles were too difficult for his reading level, so we found a book called Read and Share, Look, I’m Reading! Bible Story Book. Throughout this book, there are pictures scattered to represent words in the story. Ezra could point at the pictures and know “fish,” “basket,” etc. It helped build his “reading” confidence while cementing the basic stories of the Bible into his heart and mind.

After months of practice, Ezra could read moderately complex sentences. However, a new problem became evident. Executive function disorder made it too overwhelming to look at a page of words, which is exactly how most Bibles are printed, with two columns per page. He had the ability to read, but not the ability to process all of the words in one place. How would we continue helping him develop a habit of spending time in God’s Word? My parents got him a copy of The Action Bible. The graphic novel style in the book was just what he needed. As a word of caution, The Action Bible, with a majority of its pages filled with illustrations, does contain some disturbing images. The Bible is full of the hard things and sordid circumstances, and while we should not sugarcoat or change the Scriptures, some images like Jezebel falling to her death, or the valley of dry bones gaining sinews and flesh, maybe too disturbing for some children to see in such a format.

As Ezra’s knowledge grew, so did his questions. We were faced with our own questions. How much is he understanding? Is he just repeating things he’s heard or is he actually believing them? It’s a valid thing to ask these questions as parents, for we never want to lure our children into saying a prayer thinking they’ve got a “get out of hell free” card. With Ezra, since his brain worked so differently than his siblings, it was hard to know what was going on in his heart. Thankfully, God reminded us that NO ONE wanted Ezra to come to a relationship with God more than God did. We had to trust Him with the next steps. I am so happy to say that one night, after some other difficulties with Autism, Ezra lay in bed saying, “What if God never wants me to follow Him with my life?”  I knew that the desire to be with God only comes from God. (John 6:44), and Ezra was ready. He prayed, asking forgiveness for his sins, and telling God that he wanted to love Him with his whole life. A few months later he was baptized. 

It’s been amazing to see the change in Ezra not only as he grows emotionally, socially, and mentally, but especially as he grows spiritually. He has a huge heart for telling others about Jesus and now has an HCSB Bible that he loves to read. Parenting is hard. Parenting a child with different needs is a whole new ballgame. Thankfully, if we keep seeking God, He’ll guide and direct us each step of the way, because He loves our kids more than we ever could.