After a year of insanity, and what seemed like dozens of unanswered prayers, we approached a much needed vacation with hope for a break from the chaos. This time in the wilderness had worn us out. However, the very first night away, our middle son started having an asthma attack, and his care treatments were not working. His oxygen was low, and we could not get it up. The rattling sounds as he took each breath grated on our nerves. He was not able to speak. We have had numerous times of kids not breathing, or difficulty breathing, so each time it happens again, all of those memories come flooding back from watching our kids gasp for air. The ambulance was called. After a few hours in the Emergency Room and confused doctors, they were able to get him stabilized. Following several hours of monitoring, we were sent back to where we were staying. It was not the ideal start to a vacation. The next day was spent resting since we had been in the ER all night, but soon the youngest spiked a fever of 104 degrees. It was not long before the whole family tested positive for Covid, and thus we spent the rest of our “break” resting, taking meds, and trying to be comfortable.

Anyone who has ever been around our family knows that this week of vacation is pretty par for the course. When over half of the family members have differing, chronic medical issues, something is always happening. Can we just say it is exhausting?

After this particularly hard season, we did not know how much more we could take. We were three kinds of tired, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It was another worldly type of weariness. We cried out to God (much like Martha after her brother’s death.) “Where were you? If only You would have been here, it would have been ok!” All we had wanted was a respite from the chaos, a time to rest and restore. The Israelites asked many of the same questions when they were in the wilderness. There God had, through His grace, provided them with food to eat. However, we see in Numbers chapter 11 that they did not think that provision was enough.

“Why can’t it be like it was before? Why can’t we have this? Why us? Where are You?”

Sound familiar?

God gave us grace in our wilderness by responding with more mercy than was given to the Israelites. Instead, it was during this time of my questioning that the Spirit impressed a question on me. “Am I enough?” I talked with Josh about it, and we knew the correct answer. “Yes! He is enough!”

Saying the words is one thing. Living them in every part of our life is another. As Josh and I discussed the question between each other, we were convicted of the honesty of that “correct answer”. If God is enough for us, why are we asking for something else or something more? And if we say He is enough, do we mean that in EVERY part of life? If the rest of our life is spent in the wilderness, is He enough? If our whole time on this earth is spent in pain from undiagnosed medical issue…is He enough? If our children never get to live the lives we dreamed for them, if our plans and dreams we have for our own lives never come…is HE ENOUGH?

We know what the answer to that should be, but how do we get from knowing the answer to letting it permeate how we live and talk and believe? We have all heard 2 Corinthians 12:9.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Here Christ is reminding Paul, “My grace is sufficient. I am enough.” We have already been given everything that we need, because God has given us Himself. We have enough, because we have Him. We have talked about God’s grace in the wilderness, and it is only by this grace that we can go from knowing this to living this. We can find in scripture so many times where God shows He is sovereign and He is enough.

I read through Robinson Crusoe two times in the same year. It is a well-known, classic novel with a lot of hidden theology. In it the main character is stranded on a deserted island for over 18 years. He struggles with the same questions that the Israelites had and that we have in our wildernesses. Among many other truths, he says in the writings by Daniel Defoe, “Deliverance from sin is a much greater blessing than deliverance from suffering.” There, he learns that God has already given him everything he needs. God’s grace and mercy has already brought him safely to this island (when he could have/should have died many times in life), and even if he is never delivered from his island and difficulties, he has already been delivered from much, and that is enough, because God is enough.

How can we get to that place, the place where God is our enough? The second part of verse nine from Corinthians shows us that as well. His power is made perfect in our weakness. When we cannot, He can. When we do not have enough to keep on, He is our enough. We can praise Him for this, even in the wilderness. He is how we can say like the song lyrics, “Through every storm My soul will sing, ‘Jesus is here. To God be the glory.’”⁵

Keep pressing on to know Him (Hosea 6:3). When we know Him more and more, we can see even more clearly, how He is all we need.

⁵ Hillsong Worship. “Christ is Enough.” Glorious Ruins. Hillsong Worship, 2013. Cd.